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June 03, 2002

Big John

A very small, sickly-looking man was hired as a bartender.
The saloon owner gave him a word of warning: "Drop
everything and run for your life if ever you hear that
Big John is on his way to town." The man worked several
months without any problems.

Then one day a cowhand rushed in shouting, "Big John is
a'comin'," and knocked the small bartender on the floor
in his hurry to get out.

Before the bartender had a chance to recover, a giant of
a man with a black bushy beard rode into the saloon
through the swinging doors on the back of a buffalo,
and using a rattlesnake for a whip. The man tore the
doors off their hinges, knocked over tables, and flung
the snake into the corner. He then took his massive
fist and split the bar in half as he asked for a drink.
The bartender nervously pushed a bottle at the man. He
bit off the top of the bottle with his teeth and downed
the contents in one gulp, and turned to leave. Seeing
that he wasn't hurting anyone, the bartender asked the
man if he would like another drink.

"I ain't got no time," the man roared. "Big John is a'
comin' to town."

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Last Updated: June 03, 2002

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